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How to recognise emotions
If we want to learn how to regulate our emotions, we first need to be aware of the emotion that has shown up.
Sometimes the first clue to the presence of an emotion might be physical feelings in our body, or body signals.
| Emotion | Body signals |
| Anger |
Clenched fists Heart thumping Feeling hot in neck and face Feel blood pressure going up Throbbing temples Tension in body Clenched jaw Shaking or trembling Increased sweating Headache |
| Anxiety |
Heart beats faster, slower, louder, or skips Tension in neck, shoulders, jaw Sweaty palms Urge to run away Upset stomach Hard to breathe Blushing Feel lightheaded or dizzy Heaviness in the chest |
| Fear |
Butterflies in your stomach Shortness of breath Dry mouth Shortness of breath Tension around eyes and mouth Sick in the stomach |
| Sadness |
Empty feeling in chest or stomach Lump in your throat Aching Feel like crying Tightness in your chest |
| Shame |
Can’t look others in the eyes Feel sick in the stomach Heaviness in the chest Shrink yourself and want to make yourself invisible Body temperature goes up |
Recognising early when you are experiencing an emotion, and identifying what it is, can help you figure out a helpful way to respond.
When we are not aware of how we are feeling, we are more likely to react without thinking about the consequences.
Each time we experience an emotion - thoughts, feelings, behaviours, body signals, and urges are present.
Be aware of primary and secondary emotions!
At times, in response to a situation or event, we can find ourselves experiencing one emotion, which can then be followed by a different emotion. For example, imagine if you have an argument with a friend and you become really angry, yelling and swearing at them. Afterwards, you might feel shame because you were so angry and acted aggressively towards your friend.
Being able to identify the primary emotion is really helpful.
It’s not about judging which emotion was better, more appropriate, or whatever. If you can figure out why you were experiencing the primary emotion in the first instance, it makes it possible for you to figure out the original problem and work on solving it.
